Adultery and Divorce

What do most people think of when they hear the word, “adultery”?

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Read Matthew 5:27.

Who was Jesus talking against here?

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What had they heard?

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Where would they have heard this?

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How did they limit this law?

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Luther: Look at what the condition of this people must have been and what kind of people Christ must have faced. Not only the great and common mob, but even their superiors, teachers, and rulers permitted such things and committed them themselves. They made adultery easier, and yet they wanted a reputation for piety as long as they did not actually commit overt adultery. It is easy to figure out how pious and chaste people can remain in their works if they are permitted to go so far that their heart is brimming over with lust and that they express this to one another in all sorts of signs, words, and gestures. (LW 21:84)

Do the preachers and teachers limit this law today?

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Read vs. 28.

What does Jesus include under the sin of adultery?

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Why do you suppose Jesus singles out the male?

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A or D: Adults should be permitted to watch more “questionable” shows because they are better at filtering out the right from the wrong than a little child.

A or D: It is wrong for a husband to look at another woman and think, “she is a very pretty lady.”

Luther: He does want us to distinguish between looking and lusting. You may look at any woman or man, only be sure that you do not lust. That is why God has ordained for every person to have his own wife or husband, to control and channel his lust and his appetites. If you do not go any further than this, He approves it, He even pronounces His blessing upon it, and He is pleased with it. (21:86)

How can you tell the difference between the two? How do you know whether you are looking or lusting?

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Luther: When a man doesn’t look at his wife, and when instead he turns his gaze to another woman, this is the principle cause of adultery, which then is almost inevitable. Soon the heart follows the eyes, bringing on the desire and appetite that I ought to reserve for my wife alone. With the devil’s promptings, a person sees only his wife’s faults, losing sight of her good and laudable qualities. As a consequence, every other woman seems more beautiful and better to my eyes than my own wife. Indeed, many a man with a truly beautiful and pious wife lets himself be hoodwinked into hating her and taking up with some vile and ugly bag. (21:87)

So what does Luther point to as a positive remedy to lust?

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John used to buy swim suit issues of Sports’ Illustrated. He also bought Penthouse magazine. His mom didn’t like it. He told her, “I mainly just read the articles. I don’t look at the pictures in the Penthouse. I can look at the swim suit issues - it’s just like going to a beach. I’m just admiring God’s creation. I’m not lusting. At least I’m not going to strip joints.”

What are John’s excuses?

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Why aren’t John’s excuses acceptable?

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1 Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil. (KJV)

2 Timothy 2:22 22 Flee the evil desires of youth.

How is Jesus' explanation of adultery very practical?

Now the question is - how far do I have to go in “fleeing the evil desires of youth?” This is the question that is addressed next. Jesus goes on to give a very vivid illustration as to what He is talking about. Read 29-30.

What does Jesus recommend be done if something causes you to sin? Is He serious? What is the point He is making?

Matthew 15:19-20 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man `unclean';

Luther: In this case we would have to take our own life, and everyone would have to commit suicide. If we are supposed to throw away everything that offends us, first we have to tear out our heart. But in your heart and in the presence of God - that is where you throw away your eye and your hand, deny yourself, and forsake all. Here is what Christ means: If you feel that you’re looking at a woman with an evil desire, pluck out that eye or that look, since it is forbidden by God - not out of your body but out of your heart, from which your lust and appetite proceed. Then you have really plucked it out. (LW 21:91)

How does this preach against the cloister and the monastery, or the holy community idea?

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Is it wrong to go to beaches or watch perverted TV shows?

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What about when a man and woman are dating? Is it wrong for them to desire and love each other?

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Will we ever be able to stop the thoughts from coming? How do we get rid of them?

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You can’t keep a bird from flying over your head. But you can certainly keep it from nesting in your hair or biting your nose off. So it isn’t in our power to prevent this or some other temptation and to keep the thoughts from occuring to us. Just be sure that you let it go and don’t let them in, even though they knock on the door.

Divorce

Read 31-32. Where was it said that you could give a certificate of divorce?

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How come it was ok then, but not now?

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A better question is - “why did God allow it back then and have a law about it?”

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Luther: Christ is not functioning here as a lawyer or a governor, to set down or prescribe any regulations for outward conduct; but He is functioning as a preacher, to instruct consciences about using the divorce law properly, rather than wickedly and capriciously, contrary to God’s commandment. (21:93)

What is the only exception for a Christian to get divorced?

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There is one more reason in the Bible given. What is it?

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Would these be good marriage rules for our government to enforce?

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Look at vs. 32 again. What does it say happens to a woman whose husband divorces her?/

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This may not sound right. If she is an innocent party, why would she be condemned for marrying someone else? Here is where we need to look at different translation. A literal translation of the verse would be - “Except for marital unfaithfulness CAUSES HER TO APPEAR AS AN ADULTERESS.” (That’s a passive verb.) . . . “anyone who marries a DIVORCED WOMAN IS LOOKED UPON AS AN ADULTERER. (Again, a passive verb - something that happens to them - not something they actively do.

God’s Word to the Nations translates it this way: “But I tell you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the fact that she has been sexually unfaithful, causes her to be looked upon as an adulteress, and whoever marries a divorced woman is looked upon as an adulterer.”

In the case Jesus is describing, the man sins by breaking his marriage on non Scriptural grounds. The wife was not guilty of marital unfaithfulness. The man who marries her is looked upon (STIGMATIZED) as an adulterer. Thus the man who divorces his wife for unscriptural reasons not only sins by getting an unscriptural divorce, but also by making her AND the man she marries look like adulterers. (People will assume that she was the one who committed adultery and that is why he is divorcing her.)

Brian’s wife had an affair. When he originally found out, he was crushed. She was very sorry. So he decided he would forgive her and try to work it out. They lived together for another two months, and she became pregnant with his child. But after two months, he decided that he just couldn’t forget about what she had done or get over it. So he wanted a divorce.

Could Brian get a divorce for a Scriptural reason?

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What if Brian had come to you right after he found out about the affair? How would you council Brian? Stay or go?

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Luther says: If the guilty party is humbled and reformed, the innocent party should let himself be reconciled to him and forgive him in Christian love. Sometimes there is no hope for improvement, or the reconciliation of the guilty one and his restoration to good graces is followed only by his abuse of this kindness. He persists in his loose behavior and takes it for grant that he is entitled to be spared and forgiven. I would not advise mercy for a person like that; rather I would help to have such a person flogged or jailed. For one oversight is still pardonable, but a sin that takes mercy and forgiveness for granted is intolerable. (21:96)

A or D: Divorce is always a sin.

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A or D: When Jesus is speaking of “marital unfaithfulness”, He is only referring to the sexual union. If your spouse just kisses another, it isn’t grounds for a divorce.

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Albrecht: We also need to be reminded that lax laws and popular immorality don’t make divorce and sexual sins permissible for a Christian. The laws of the state may express the will of the people, but as Christians we want to submit to all of God’s commandments. This is a difficult assignment in a corrupt society, but God will help and bless all who sincerely try. (PB 5:33-37)

Any other questions?